Monday, January 3, 2011

a little sad

Well...i got to know something that I don't particularly like and therefore as you guessed, I am sad. I don't think anyone out there in the world is reading my blog, so why not mope on this itself.
Sometimes, actually its quite a lot with me. But sometimes, you wish for something, you want it with as much heart as you could possibly want it with. But, you don't achieve it. You don't get what you want. You've failed in your eyes. What does one do then?
Failing in someone else's eyes... one can pick oneself up and move on. But what about when you fail in your own eyes? You can't just pick yourself and move on. Coz you will still have failed.
I write in times like these. Its cathartic. Its soothing. Relieves that fire.
Sometimes I think I set out impossible goals for myself. I don't achieve what I want to know. I don't get the results I desire.
As the saying goes, "Everything happens for the best". I wanna ask if someone can show me where and when will the best happen to me? How long does one have to wait till one gets to experience "best" ?
Maybe I am whiny right now or maybe philosophical. Maybe two days down the line I might regret writing this and even delete it. Or maybe 5 years down the line I might look at this and think about the comfort it is giving me now. Either way, it is going to get a response out of me.
And then there the uncertainty associated with grief...all kinds. What if? What if the moment I turn away none of this would've happened and everything will be good again and happy? What if I can roll time back? So many What Ifs? And no solutions.
Maybe I take the role of a rambler too seriously some times. I have work to do, and yet, here I am. Sitting and moping about something that has happened and something I have to deal with. I just want to be able to make myself give up hope. The world is a simpler place to live in if hope weren't present. Maybe hope brings faith, but it brings disappointment also to the unfortunates.
Till I experience no hope
The Rambler

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