Thursday, February 9, 2012

Divorces and Independence

What utter bullshit. Excuse my language, but as a female, who believes she is strongly independent, I am mighty well offended by this absolutely nonsensical measure of my independence.
More broken homes is not something that we should celebrate. If you are so independent. don't marry in the first place. Or at least find out about the guy you are marrying. Do a background check. We have enough jobless PIs for that. If he is a jerk after marriage, there is a high probability that he was one before marriage too.
While I am not for or against marriage or believe in the sanctum sanctorum of marriage, I just feel that feminism does not need bullshit like this. If you want to celebrate the independence of women, look at their achievements in politics, education, etc and not just how many divorces they have had. Divorces is something quite unfortunate that any family for that matter could be subject to. And celebrating something like this just reeks of immaturity. 
People blame it on the so called system of arranged marriages in India. But, arranged marriages have the lowest rate of failure. Trust me, they are a good thing.
Also, if the woman is independent enough, she would say no before entering the marriage and not after committing to the marriage. I mean, any independent woman is smart enough to figure out during her engagement or courtship period whether she wants to be with him or not. If you can't have a conversation for more than 5 minutes, I think that's pretty much the red danger sign that the couples counselor would tell you about.  I am telling you about it for free. While we have a higher rate of divorces, we also do have higher engagement periods. So, why should it be so hard to figure out that you are not made for each other.
And you would know if you had an abusive boyfriend. There's no getting past that. You need to be either senseless or completely stupid to not see an abusive partner. And there aren't so many people with CIPA. I think. 
And for those of you who talk about compromising, you compromise with a lot of things. do you give all those things up? A lot more people would be without jobs if everyone stopped compromising. Just saying.
And like everything else, marriage needs work. If you think its as easy as eating cake, well then everyone is better off eating cake and not being married.
Anyway, I think the guy's talking bull. And since he's a writer for TOI, DEFINITELY bull. I am off to stare at the snowflakes
The Rambler

1 comment:

Mary said...

Lovely piece! I actually think we stay in abusive relationships to assert that we can 'make it'...quite a paradox for an independent woman..i guess the point is being true to oneself. That said, i think it's quite possible to be independent and have a balanced career, family and love takes marrying the right person..and before then, live life to the full and don't settle for what u truly know is not the best for u..easier said than done though!